63336 revamps the 12 days of Christmas for the 21st century billionaire

19 December 2011

The Christmas carol The Twelve Days of Christmas is well over 200 years old, having been first published around 1780. There aren't many modern households which could use a partridge in a pear tree or would want 10 lords-a-leaping around the living room whilst the Queen's Speech was on, but what extravagant gifts could be used to replace such a luxury as 7 swans a swimming?

A partridge in a pear tree. Pretty, but not as pretty as the iPad 2 Gold History edition which is made from two kilos of gold and 12.5 carats of diamonds. The bezel contains shavings of Tyrannosaurus rex thigh bone. Snap one up for £5 million.

2 turtle doves. Turtle doves are romantic birds with sweet singing voices, but if you are willing to pay out £646,000 you could get Jennifer Lopez or Mariah Carey to sing your favourite carols instead.

3 French hens. You could get a nice meal out of a French hen, but wouldn't dining at the Dome restaurant in Bangkok, Thailand on meals provided by some of the best chefs in the world be better? French scallops, Japanese beef, Maine lobster, Italian black truffles and a £19,382 bill (not including tip).

4 calling birds. The term calling birds comes from "colly" birds, which was a name for a blackbird. You would be better off with a private jet than a cluster of blackbirds. Choose the Gulfstream G550; if it's good enough for the president of the USA, it's good enough for you, and only £38.6 million.

5 gold rings. 5 gold rings are quite extravagant, but why buy 5 when you can buy just one ring like the Chopard Blue Diamond Ring? This beautiful blue diamond ring is set on a white gold band and would set you back about £10.4 million.

6 geese-a-laying. Looking after all those geese laying eggs would be time consuming, but at least you could be looking at a Patek Philippe & Co. Sky Moon Tourbillon watch which cost £968,000 whilst waiting. Just don't wait in the rain as it isn't waterproof.

7 swans-a-swimming. Want to join the swans on open water? Then consider making Chelsea FC owner Roman Abramovich an offer on his 536ft private yacht Eclipse. He would probably want in the region of £600 million for it, but you do get a mini submarine and 2 helicopter pads for your money.

8 maids-a-milking. It's hard work milking, but there are rich rewards if that milk is going to Fritz Knipschildt for part of his chocolatier work. He might give you one of his renowned dark chocolate truffles which usually cost £160 each.

9 ladies dancing. Why are the ladies dancing? Because they just found out they are going on holiday to Athens and will be staying at the Royal Villa at Grand Resort Lagonissi. For just £31,725 a night the ladies can enjoy getting down in 12,798 sq ft of space with the help of the villa's personal pianist.

10 lords-a-leaping. What's the point in having lords leaping around the place if you haven't got a stately-like car to pick them up in? Time to get a Bentley Mulsanne, sporting a 6.75 litre Bentley V8 engine, and a snip at £225,900.

11 pipers piping. All that noise and fuss when you could just order a stereo from Shape Audio called the Organic Harmony. They have only made one of these systems so far, which is hardly surprising when it's made of solid gold and worth about £4.4 million.

12 drummers drumming. You have a jet, a yacht, incredible cars and jewellery. But you want something that would really make 12 drummers drum? Well, somewhere to store all this luxury would be useful, so how about buying Antilia, a 568ft tower block in Mumbai, India which is believed to be worth over £1.2 billion? It's a private residence, so you don't need to worry about annoying the neighbours when you watch the Christmas James Bond film with the volume on max.

Take heart … surely even billionaires like socks for Christmas?

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